This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize