If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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