So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
