Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize