Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
