One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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