Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
