Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Shitshow foam night was such a success
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
