I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
