member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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