We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
