i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
