pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
