Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
