ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
