I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize