Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
