i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
