In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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