My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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