Say something about gay babies.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Mom said you looked used
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
