Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
