I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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