I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
