textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
