i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
