Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
