wrigley field is MILF paradise
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
please don't ironically join a cult
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