if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
