Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize