...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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