I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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