ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
