the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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