so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
