Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
