Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
