he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
