Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
