that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
