Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
