I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
My vagina is officially offended.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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