Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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