I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
