i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
