I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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