Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
