the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
