So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
