Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
