His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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