The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Barsexuality is the new black.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
