That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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