His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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