I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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