I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
