What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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