You made me cry and you don't even care
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I will be naked everywhere
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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