You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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