Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
